Sweet Saturday

Wow I can not believe how much I packed into one day.

Due to lack of sleep and going to bed late I didn't get up until 10:51 AM. I haven't slept that late in forever. OK Technically I was up at 5:30 to get Boyd off to work but I wasn't that awake and went right back to bed.

So far today I've done this, in no particular order:
* opened all the curtains and let in the sun shine.
* took down the Christmas tree & decorations in our bedroom
* took down the Christmas decorations in the hallway
* took down the Christmas decorations in the bathroom - we have a 6 ft counter so it's a good spot for my favorite breakable stuff. :)
* made spaghetti
* unloaded the dishwasher
* loaded the dishwasher and ran it
* washed two loads of laundry - one is in the dryer and one is ready to be hung up.
* finished a scrapbook layout
* took Buddie out for a run - knuckle head made a run for it through the neighbors yard and out towards the new street. Momma was so not happy.
* walked out to get the mail
* surfed the net, checked email and read some of my favorite blogs.

Yes I still had half of my house decorated for Christmas when I woke up this morning. I was ready to take stuff down in January and Boyd asked if I would leave it up because it made the house feel homey. Now it's down to the main tree and the living room decorations - it takes 5 totes and I wasn't ready for that today.

I realized that watching cartoons from my generation is a good back drop for cleaning. I was surfing the net and watching some toons and realized I wanted to clean. Guess I know what I'm going to be watching err listening to on Saturday mornings from now on.

So spring cleaning has hit our household. Does anyone have a good plan for cleaning while working? I obviously need some help and we are the cleaning people. I tried some of the popular online plans and they just don't work for me. Also tried writing tasks on individual index cards and pulling different ones for each week and it doesn't work for Boyd so he talks me out of it too.

Plans for tomorrow include dusting and taxes - I don't like either one!

Off to enjoy a relaxing Saturday night - try to finish up dinner so it's ready for Boyd.

I'd give anything

just to see you again....

When I read the lyrics (in the prior post) of the song for the challenge over at the Scrapping the Music blog they hit me pretty hard.

That's exactly how I feel, there are so many people that I'd give anything to see again. Of course right now it's Loyd that we're missing the most. I wish that all of his family could see him again and have the chance to say goodbye. That his two 6 yr old grandsons didn't have to witness his heart attack, the paramedics doing CPR and taking him out of the house.

The sisters are having a really hard time with our loss. Especially for Sis in CA who wasn't able to make it home for the service. She's struggling with a lot of guilt and I don't know what to do for her besides just listen and try to comfort her.

Sis in CR is struggling with the loss too. Plus she's helping her husband who's having some health issues. Trying to help her daughter through a difficult pregnancy and being there for Marty who needs all of our support. Also worrying about Boyd and how he's handling the loss.

While we are an hour and a half away it's close enough to be there to help and just far enough to feel separated and that we aren't there enough.

It's a struggle all around.

Today has probably been one of the harder days for Boyd. The Big 10 wrestling championships were on and Loyd didn't call to find out what channel it would be on. That's been Loyd's thing for the last few years. I seriously think it was Loyd's way to talk to Boyd once a week even if it was just for a few minutes.

This afternoon I caught myself just before I told Boyd he should call Loyd to tell him. In the middle of the meet Boyd said he wanted to call Loyd. That was really hard for me. Ugh!

I know it gets easier everyday, I know that Loyd is in a better place. I remember what it was like to loose my dad and my grandma. But I forgot those moments of pain that take your breath away, when you are taken back to that moment you learned they died and you don't know how to go on. It's been a take your breath away kind of day. Makes me wish the weekend was one day longer.

Hello by Sugarbomb

This is the title of the song for the latest challenge over at the Scrapping the Music blog.

These are the lyrics:

I feel so peculiar, I don't know what to say.
But don't let me fool you
I'm not one bit afraid, no way.
One thing's for sure
What I would give to simply open my door
And see your smiling face.

Hello, hello,
Won't you come right in?
I'd give anything just to see you again.
Hello, hello
Won't you come right in,
Step into my world
where you know you're everything
Everything I need

I'm suddenly hopeful
Whenever you're in sight,that's right.
I talk about you all day;
Whisper your name at night. that's right.
Whatever you need,
What I would give if you should ask it of me,
To make you feel complete.

Hello, Hello won't you come right in
I'd give anything just to see you again
Hello Hello won't you come right in.
Step into my world where you know you're everything

I could go on and on and on
Do It again, again, again
Whisper your name, your name, your name
Would you do the same for me?

I feel so peculiar I don't know what to say...

Hello Hello won't you come right in
I'd give anything just to see you again
Hello hello won't you come right in
Step into my world where you know you're everything

Everything
Everything
I feel so peculiar
You know I feel so peculiar
You know I feel so strange

Two weeks

Since we lost Loyd, it seems like only yesterday and a lifetime ago at the same time. Most of the day my mind has been filled with thoughts of him, they started sneaking in when I was sitting down to start work this morning. Remembering his laugh and how he use to pick on me, seeing his sly smile when he was picking on someone and his big smile when I told him a story about Boyd.

We got some amazing news last night. Marty went back to work on Monday, yesterday she got a note from the High School football coach. Seems the entire team voted to put emblem stickers that say "Shaff" on the back of their helmets this fall. I CAN NOT WAIT FOR FOOTBALL SEASON! I know it's a high school team but I think it's amazing. I found their fall schedule and I need to make sure that Boyd has that weekend off.

I gave Marty a copy of the letters I wrote to her and Loyd when we saw her on Sunday. She called Boyd at work tonight and said he married a great girl. =) Her oldest son read them when we were there on Sunday and he said they were really nice. Coming from a man of few words it was a good thing.

Happy Square Root day

you know 3 is the square root of 9...3/3/9.

Ha! This goes out to all my geeky math friends.

Time waits for no one...

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. ~ Souza

I saw this quote on Lee's blog and it really hit home with me today.

We went down to see Marty today and it reminded me of all of the times over the last few months that I'd wanted to go and see Loyd and we never made it - being comfy at home made us not want to leave. And how I want to do a family dinner every month with my mom and brother and we never seem to do it. Game night with friends and cousins. My list goes on and on. I always say that life gets in the way. That's not true, I just procrastinate and let life pass me by.

I made a vow on the drive home that I would call my family and schedule a dinner - even though I still have my Christmas stuff up and I know my brother will give me grief. Now it's my goal for March.

Thanks Lee!

Letters

Dear Marty,

I've been doing a lot of thinking about something you said at Loyd's visitation.

I think that you and Loyd had the kind of love that lasts forever.

Coming into your lives after his sports career I could tell that you were the center of his universe and he wanted to be where ever you were. Whether you were sitting at home or out for dinner he was happy and proud to have you by his side.

Watching him tease you with that little twinkle in his eye...just waiting for your response. He loved to get you going and I think it helped him to know you would be OK when he was gone.

The road ahead maybe hard but just remember that he loved you, he was proud of you and his spirit will always be there for you.

Love, Karen

To Loyd,

Thank you for accepting me into the Shaffer family. For this quiet and shy girl your teasing took a bit to get used to but hearing your laughter made it easier to take.

Thank you for showing me what a loving marriage is all about. The highs and lows and getting through it all. I'd never experienced anything as happy and loving as what you had with Marty. I can only hope that Boyd and I can come close to what you had.

Thank you for everything else you taught me about life. While we didn't always agree, your perspective often made me stop and think and reexamine my opinion.

I love you and miss you!
Karen

P.S. I now think of wrestling as a sport.


I asked Boyd to read these while I was at work today he texted me & I quote "I just read your letters to Marty and Loyd. Now I can't stop crying. They are awesome".

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Rereading this I am so glad that I got up at 3 AM and wrote all of this out. I never would have remembered everything to write it out in the morning.

Note to self, when I have that nagging feeling that I need to get up and write something down, I really need to get up and write that something down.