Over the last three years I've selected a word at the beginning of the year to live by.
2007 - Dream
2008 - Be
2009 - Believe
Each year I've found inspiration, the nudge to do something by looking at or thinking of my word.
This year I'm really struggling with what to pick.
My ideas:
* go
* change
* move
* active
* action
* transform
* hope
* blossom
None of them feel right when I look at them by themselves. They all seem to revolved around the same idea or thought.
This year I want to make changes in my life. I want to get organized and have a warm and comfortable home. I want to get a side business started .... Blumen Creations .... now to figure out what I can make or do and make a little pocket money. Scratch that I know what I can make and do. I need to learn to market myself and my skills. I want to blossom with all the changes that we make. Of course I want us to start eating healthier and making time to exercise.
Could BUTTERFLY be my word? The life of a butterfly goes through all my choices right?
It doesn't feel right to me either.
I guess I'll take my time and let the word choose me like I have in other years. Usually I hear/see/think of a word often and that becomes my inspiration word.
**********
On a side note, the Shaffer family was given a great honor today. Each year the Cedar Rapids Gazette puts together a most notable Iowans and Eastern Iowans that we lost in the last year. We are blessed to see Loyd's name on the list. He was ours but oh so much more. We are proud that he affected so many lives. I hope that I can carry on a piece of him and have it show in my work and my life.
Showing posts with label Loyd. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Loyd. Show all posts
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Big game tonight
He likes the green team and I like the purple team. We are big fans of our respective teams.
Pray that we survive.
=)
Added post game....
Woo Hoo Vikings win!
I feel so sad for Boyd. He wasn't himself tonight, he really wanted to call Loyd and chat about the game. They would always call each other before, during and after the game to dissect what was happening and how they thought the game was going.
It's so hard to be going through our day to day life and then realize something we've done for years can no longer be done. I know it's life and I know it's something we'll get use to. I also know it's difficult and today is one of the really hard days.
I'd give anything to have Loyd riling me up about football again.
Very bittersweet. Wish I could enjoy the win more since this is the best season they've had in a lot of years.
Pray that we survive.
=)
Added post game....
Woo Hoo Vikings win!
I feel so sad for Boyd. He wasn't himself tonight, he really wanted to call Loyd and chat about the game. They would always call each other before, during and after the game to dissect what was happening and how they thought the game was going.
It's so hard to be going through our day to day life and then realize something we've done for years can no longer be done. I know it's life and I know it's something we'll get use to. I also know it's difficult and today is one of the really hard days.
I'd give anything to have Loyd riling me up about football again.
Very bittersweet. Wish I could enjoy the win more since this is the best season they've had in a lot of years.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Missing Loyd
Today it's really hitting me again that we lost a much loved member of our family. Along with that we have lost a connection to DH nephews and great nephews. Everyone is busy with their own lives and Loyd was always our connection. Sharing stories of his grandsons and laughing his big laugh.
Loyd would have given Boyd so much flack about Favre joining the Vikings. Loyd loved to get both of us going about football. As we get closer to the start of the season, both NFL and Division I, I know it will be a hard time for Boyd. He always called Loyd to chat about the game or a certain play.
I try to be there for him but well I am not a Packer backer and it's hard to be positive about the Pack when they are a division rival. I do talk about the Hawkeyes but it's just not the same.
Wrestling season maybe the most difficult. I'm hoping that surviving the football season will get us (or me) more prepared for wrestling. I found out a friends hubby is into wrestling and I'm hoping to connect them. I know it won't be the same but I'm hoping that it will help.
I would love to figure out how to get the family together every couple of months. Since I don't live in the area it's hard. Plus Loyd's boys tend to be home bodies (like their Dad) and it's hard to get them to family things.
It's part of life I know but it's one of the parts I don't like.
Loyd would have given Boyd so much flack about Favre joining the Vikings. Loyd loved to get both of us going about football. As we get closer to the start of the season, both NFL and Division I, I know it will be a hard time for Boyd. He always called Loyd to chat about the game or a certain play.
I try to be there for him but well I am not a Packer backer and it's hard to be positive about the Pack when they are a division rival. I do talk about the Hawkeyes but it's just not the same.
Wrestling season maybe the most difficult. I'm hoping that surviving the football season will get us (or me) more prepared for wrestling. I found out a friends hubby is into wrestling and I'm hoping to connect them. I know it won't be the same but I'm hoping that it will help.
I would love to figure out how to get the family together every couple of months. Since I don't live in the area it's hard. Plus Loyd's boys tend to be home bodies (like their Dad) and it's hard to get them to family things.
It's part of life I know but it's one of the parts I don't like.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Three's? I say Uncle
They say things happen in three's. I've experienced it in the past. This time I say Uncle!
Loyd died in Feb.
One of Boyd's old coworkers lost her dad or husband, I can't remember.
One of Boyd's high school friends lost his father-in-law
Same friend and brother of one of our groomsmen lost their mom - he went to Maq tonight to the visitation.
One of my Mom's friends lost her father - I took Mom to the visitation tonight.
One of my coworkers lost her uncle.
And that's just the ones I remember, I know there are more.
I so need a weekend away!
Boyd pickup the Maq papers one of the brothers saved for us, it had an awesome article about Loyd in it. The reporter has known Loyd forever and recapped Loyd's high school, college and working life. He even described the wrestling met when Boyd met Loyd's heavyweight in the last match - Boyd ended up tying and his team won the met. =)
I am a scrapbooker and I am overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to organize all of the articles and stuff we've gotten that are related to Loyd.
Loyd died in Feb.
One of Boyd's old coworkers lost her dad or husband, I can't remember.
One of Boyd's high school friends lost his father-in-law
Same friend and brother of one of our groomsmen lost their mom - he went to Maq tonight to the visitation.
One of my Mom's friends lost her father - I took Mom to the visitation tonight.
One of my coworkers lost her uncle.
And that's just the ones I remember, I know there are more.
I so need a weekend away!
Boyd pickup the Maq papers one of the brothers saved for us, it had an awesome article about Loyd in it. The reporter has known Loyd forever and recapped Loyd's high school, college and working life. He even described the wrestling met when Boyd met Loyd's heavyweight in the last match - Boyd ended up tying and his team won the met. =)
I am a scrapbooker and I am overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to organize all of the articles and stuff we've gotten that are related to Loyd.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
One month
since we lost Loyd.
On the eve of the wrestling national championships I'm struggling with who we can call to discuss the tournament. Loyd always laughed at my comments and opinions on wrestling.
....it's been 9.5 yrs since Boyd and I have been together and he still hasn't taken me to a wrestling met. Loyd use to get a kick out of that - Boyd has so many excuses.
Love you Loyd & miss you.
Boyd & Karen
On the eve of the wrestling national championships I'm struggling with who we can call to discuss the tournament. Loyd always laughed at my comments and opinions on wrestling.
....it's been 9.5 yrs since Boyd and I have been together and he still hasn't taken me to a wrestling met. Loyd use to get a kick out of that - Boyd has so many excuses.
Love you Loyd & miss you.
Boyd & Karen
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I'd give anything
just to see you again....
When I read the lyrics (in the prior post) of the song for the challenge over at the Scrapping the Music blog they hit me pretty hard.
That's exactly how I feel, there are so many people that I'd give anything to see again. Of course right now it's Loyd that we're missing the most. I wish that all of his family could see him again and have the chance to say goodbye. That his two 6 yr old grandsons didn't have to witness his heart attack, the paramedics doing CPR and taking him out of the house.
The sisters are having a really hard time with our loss. Especially for Sis in CA who wasn't able to make it home for the service. She's struggling with a lot of guilt and I don't know what to do for her besides just listen and try to comfort her.
Sis in CR is struggling with the loss too. Plus she's helping her husband who's having some health issues. Trying to help her daughter through a difficult pregnancy and being there for Marty who needs all of our support. Also worrying about Boyd and how he's handling the loss.
While we are an hour and a half away it's close enough to be there to help and just far enough to feel separated and that we aren't there enough.
It's a struggle all around.
Today has probably been one of the harder days for Boyd. The Big 10 wrestling championships were on and Loyd didn't call to find out what channel it would be on. That's been Loyd's thing for the last few years. I seriously think it was Loyd's way to talk to Boyd once a week even if it was just for a few minutes.
This afternoon I caught myself just before I told Boyd he should call Loyd to tell him. In the middle of the meet Boyd said he wanted to call Loyd. That was really hard for me. Ugh!
I know it gets easier everyday, I know that Loyd is in a better place. I remember what it was like to loose my dad and my grandma. But I forgot those moments of pain that take your breath away, when you are taken back to that moment you learned they died and you don't know how to go on. It's been a take your breath away kind of day. Makes me wish the weekend was one day longer.
When I read the lyrics (in the prior post) of the song for the challenge over at the Scrapping the Music blog they hit me pretty hard.
That's exactly how I feel, there are so many people that I'd give anything to see again. Of course right now it's Loyd that we're missing the most. I wish that all of his family could see him again and have the chance to say goodbye. That his two 6 yr old grandsons didn't have to witness his heart attack, the paramedics doing CPR and taking him out of the house.
The sisters are having a really hard time with our loss. Especially for Sis in CA who wasn't able to make it home for the service. She's struggling with a lot of guilt and I don't know what to do for her besides just listen and try to comfort her.
Sis in CR is struggling with the loss too. Plus she's helping her husband who's having some health issues. Trying to help her daughter through a difficult pregnancy and being there for Marty who needs all of our support. Also worrying about Boyd and how he's handling the loss.
While we are an hour and a half away it's close enough to be there to help and just far enough to feel separated and that we aren't there enough.
It's a struggle all around.
Today has probably been one of the harder days for Boyd. The Big 10 wrestling championships were on and Loyd didn't call to find out what channel it would be on. That's been Loyd's thing for the last few years. I seriously think it was Loyd's way to talk to Boyd once a week even if it was just for a few minutes.
This afternoon I caught myself just before I told Boyd he should call Loyd to tell him. In the middle of the meet Boyd said he wanted to call Loyd. That was really hard for me. Ugh!
I know it gets easier everyday, I know that Loyd is in a better place. I remember what it was like to loose my dad and my grandma. But I forgot those moments of pain that take your breath away, when you are taken back to that moment you learned they died and you don't know how to go on. It's been a take your breath away kind of day. Makes me wish the weekend was one day longer.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Two weeks
Since we lost Loyd, it seems like only yesterday and a lifetime ago at the same time. Most of the day my mind has been filled with thoughts of him, they started sneaking in when I was sitting down to start work this morning. Remembering his laugh and how he use to pick on me, seeing his sly smile when he was picking on someone and his big smile when I told him a story about Boyd.
We got some amazing news last night. Marty went back to work on Monday, yesterday she got a note from the High School football coach. Seems the entire team voted to put emblem stickers that say "Shaff" on the back of their helmets this fall. I CAN NOT WAIT FOR FOOTBALL SEASON! I know it's a high school team but I think it's amazing. I found their fall schedule and I need to make sure that Boyd has that weekend off.
I gave Marty a copy of the letters I wrote to her and Loyd when we saw her on Sunday. She called Boyd at work tonight and said he married a great girl. =) Her oldest son read them when we were there on Sunday and he said they were really nice. Coming from a man of few words it was a good thing.
We got some amazing news last night. Marty went back to work on Monday, yesterday she got a note from the High School football coach. Seems the entire team voted to put emblem stickers that say "Shaff" on the back of their helmets this fall. I CAN NOT WAIT FOR FOOTBALL SEASON! I know it's a high school team but I think it's amazing. I found their fall schedule and I need to make sure that Boyd has that weekend off.
I gave Marty a copy of the letters I wrote to her and Loyd when we saw her on Sunday. She called Boyd at work tonight and said he married a great girl. =) Her oldest son read them when we were there on Sunday and he said they were really nice. Coming from a man of few words it was a good thing.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Letters
Dear Marty,
I've been doing a lot of thinking about something you said at Loyd's visitation.
I think that you and Loyd had the kind of love that lasts forever.
Coming into your lives after his sports career I could tell that you were the center of his universe and he wanted to be where ever you were. Whether you were sitting at home or out for dinner he was happy and proud to have you by his side.
Watching him tease you with that little twinkle in his eye...just waiting for your response. He loved to get you going and I think it helped him to know you would be OK when he was gone.
The road ahead maybe hard but just remember that he loved you, he was proud of you and his spirit will always be there for you.
Love, Karen
To Loyd,
Thank you for accepting me into the Shaffer family. For this quiet and shy girl your teasing took a bit to get used to but hearing your laughter made it easier to take.
Thank you for showing me what a loving marriage is all about. The highs and lows and getting through it all. I'd never experienced anything as happy and loving as what you had with Marty. I can only hope that Boyd and I can come close to what you had.
Thank you for everything else you taught me about life. While we didn't always agree, your perspective often made me stop and think and reexamine my opinion.
I love you and miss you!
Karen
P.S. I now think of wrestling as a sport.
I asked Boyd to read these while I was at work today he texted me & I quote "I just read your letters to Marty and Loyd. Now I can't stop crying. They are awesome".
-----------------
Rereading this I am so glad that I got up at 3 AM and wrote all of this out. I never would have remembered everything to write it out in the morning.
Note to self, when I have that nagging feeling that I need to get up and write something down, I really need to get up and write that something down.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about something you said at Loyd's visitation.
I think that you and Loyd had the kind of love that lasts forever.
Coming into your lives after his sports career I could tell that you were the center of his universe and he wanted to be where ever you were. Whether you were sitting at home or out for dinner he was happy and proud to have you by his side.
Watching him tease you with that little twinkle in his eye...just waiting for your response. He loved to get you going and I think it helped him to know you would be OK when he was gone.
The road ahead maybe hard but just remember that he loved you, he was proud of you and his spirit will always be there for you.
Love, Karen
To Loyd,
Thank you for accepting me into the Shaffer family. For this quiet and shy girl your teasing took a bit to get used to but hearing your laughter made it easier to take.
Thank you for showing me what a loving marriage is all about. The highs and lows and getting through it all. I'd never experienced anything as happy and loving as what you had with Marty. I can only hope that Boyd and I can come close to what you had.
Thank you for everything else you taught me about life. While we didn't always agree, your perspective often made me stop and think and reexamine my opinion.
I love you and miss you!
Karen
P.S. I now think of wrestling as a sport.
I asked Boyd to read these while I was at work today he texted me & I quote "I just read your letters to Marty and Loyd. Now I can't stop crying. They are awesome".
-----------------
Rereading this I am so glad that I got up at 3 AM and wrote all of this out. I never would have remembered everything to write it out in the morning.
Note to self, when I have that nagging feeling that I need to get up and write something down, I really need to get up and write that something down.
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